♪ Good times
♪ Any time You meet a payment ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Any time You need a friend ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Any time You're out from under ♪
♪ Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled ♪
♪ Keepin' your head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs
♪ Good times
♪ Easy credit Rip-offs ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Scratchin' And survivin' ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Hangin' In a chow line ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Ain't we lucky We got 'em ♪
♪ Good times
Yeah. I'm glad we're finished with that.
Finally got the storm windows in place, Michael.
Yeah. Man, would you look at that snow out there?
It's like a miracle.
Now, what's so miraculous about a snowstorm?
Overnight, the neighborhood has gone lily-white.
[KEITH LAUGHS]
Coffee's ready.
THELMA: Good morning, everybody.
FLORIDA: Good morning. Good morning, husband.
It's kiss-and-hug time.Mm-hm.
When isn't it?
Thank you, bro-in-law.
Hey, Michael, that's my doughnut.
Naw. Possession is nine-tenths of the law.
Oh, Keith, when is a dumb, old doughnut
more important than a kiss and hug from your wife?
Hey, baby, you know you don't take no back seat
to a lousy jelly doughnut. Why, I'd give my life for you.
But we talking custard.Oh... Keith!
Just jiving, baby.
Whoo! Give me some coffee!
I gotta warm up my bones.
Well, I'm so glad it's just your bones,
because Brazil does not make enough coffee
to warm the rest of you.
[KEITH LAUGHS]
Oh. I tell you. Bookman,
the abominable snowman.
Bookman, why are you here?
I don't think you heard me.
Bookman, why are you here?
Yeah, what's the matter? You got Twinkies in your ears?
Good coffee.
KEITH: The man is wearing earmuffs.
[LAUGHS]Oh, good.
Then we can insult him all day.
Thelma, it ain't no good insulting Bookman
if he can't hear you.
Bookman, when are you gonna clear the snow off the sidewalk?
Listen, I got a plan.
I got something that will clean all the snow off
and make your sidewalks as clean as a whistle.
What's it called? August?
No. You see,
I put this sign out in the entrance... The door entrance...
and it says... Yeah?
"...Lost on the front step: five-carat diamond ring."
Then watch the people start shoveling that snow.
[PHONE RINGS]Answer the phone.
Yes, sir. I'll get it, Mrs. Evans.
Bookman!
Hello? Yes, this is Mrs. Bookman.
This is Mrs. Evans.
Good morning, Mr. Collingswood.
Why, yes, of course.
I'll be there in 15 minutes. Mm-hm.
Thelma, I won't eat breakfast.
I'll get a cup of coffee down at the bus yard.
Come on, Mama, you're not gonna go to work today, are you?
Listen, half of the regular drivers are out with colds,
so they want all the substitute drivers they can get.
But Ma, why don't you tell them you have a cold too?
Yeah.
Now, you know I can't do that, Thelma.
The kids I drive to school need all the education they can get,
and it's my job to get them there.
Mama, I heard on the radio
that they might be closing the schools down.
You tell Mr. Collingswood that.
Whoo-whee, child! Close the door.
Ooh, child, let me tell you something.
When all our ancestors was down there
in the hot, sunny southland,
lifting those barges and toting those bales,
little did they know that 200 years later
some of their kinfolk would be freezing
their ex-cotton-picking tails off in a project.
And I said all that to say this, honey:
Whoo, child, it's cold outside.
Hi, Miss Woods.
Oh, you just the one I want to see.
I got a bone to pick with you.
I asked you to fix my thermostat,
and you knocked it off the wall.
Of all the ham-handed,
oatmeal-brained, fumble-fingered,
stumble-footed goofballs I have ever known,
you are the worst.
You are a buffalo-butted,
banjo-behind reject from the school of losers.
You are a disgrace to the human race
and the animal kingdom included.
I have no idea why Noah let you on his ark, honey,
because I don't know where they'd fit the elephant butt
you got in there.♪ Sleigh bells ring
You are so ridiculous... ♪ Are you listening?
...big-head, blue-faced... ♪ Snow is glistening...
Get out of my face, you fat...
I was just getting ready to insult him.
Oh, Flo, Penny is bent on going to school today.
You planning on driving the bus?
Sure. Aren't you going to work?
You know I gotta go to the boutique.
I don't know who's gonna do any shopping.
I don't know many Eskimos with credit cards.
Let's go. I feel like King Tut in a sauna.
Ma, I wish you would change your mind.
Thelma, you know I'm not gonna let
a little bit of snow scare me.
It never did when you all were little,
and it sure won't start now.
Yeah. I know those kids will appreciate it
as much as we did.
[CHUCKLES]
Wise guy.
THELMA: Have a nice day, y'all.
[LAUGHS] Hey, Michael, Thelma,
did you hear that jive radio announcer in there?
No, man, what'd he say?
He said...
[GRAVELLY VOICE] "Hey, all you sleek
"and slinky music freaks,
"this is Bear Cat Bill, your very own disco dude,
rappin' to you."
[LAUGHING IN CHARACTER]
"Man, it's so cold outside. How cold is it?
"Man, it's so cold outside
"even the flashers are just showing pictures of themselves.
[GRAVELLY LAUGH]
"And, man, the snow is getting heavy.
"So just lay back in your sack,
"and if you want some real delicious fatback,
"save your mama for better things.
"Call Harry's Pick-A-Rib.
"Guaranteed not to leave a grease ring.
Your mama will thank you."
Hey, I was just trying to cheer you all up.
Yeah, well, it's not working,
because I'm still worried about Ma
driving that bus in that snow.
Hey, Thelma, it's not that bad out there.
Besides, your mother can handle herself in any emergency.
Yeah, but it seems like there's something we can do.
[CHUCKLES] I was just thinking of that.
But seeing that we're stuck with Michael,
I think we better do something that includes the three of us.
Hm. Oh, well. How about charades?
Hm. I'm sure glad you didn't say hide-and-go-seek.
Because knowing the two of y'all,
you sure wouldn't come looking for me.
Oh, yeah? You watch your mouth! Come on. Come on, hit me!
[INAUDIBLE]
[WIND HOWLING]
Alex. Come on. Give me a hand here.
What's up?
[BOTH GRUNT]
Ooh!
Everybody okay? Kim, Alex, Penny?
I guess so.
This place is scary.
We're gonna die of scariness!
Now, now, now.
Nobody's gonna die of anything. I guarantee you that.
What if you die first?
Nothing scares me. I'm not scared of anything.
Not even tarantulas.
What are they?
I don't know.
That's how come I'm not scared of them.
I think they look like that bug on your shoe.
[SCREAMS]
[LAUGHS]
Alex.
Gee, Aunt Florida,
maybe we should've stayed on the bus.
Well, the heater had stopped working there, honey.
If we'd stayed there, we'd have all frozen.
At least we got room to move around in here.
We won't get drowsy and fall asleep.
Well, I'm cold.
We're gonna die of "coldnessness!"
Hey, those buildings are boarded up.
How come nobody lives in them?
Well, it's an abandoned redevelopment project.
I'm hungry. I want me a Big Mac.
Well, I think you're gonna have a little bit of a problem
finding one in a neighborhood like this.
I ain't never heard of no neighborhood
where you couldn't walk to a Big Mac place.
You can't walk anywhere. The snow's 4 feet tall.
Cool. We'll have them deliver.
They can't do that. But I'm hungry!
We're gonna die of hungriness!
Now, look, kids.
Just stop and think how lucky we are.
We're inside, out of the storm.
I bet they're searching for our bus right now,
and they know we're somewhere nearby.
We'll be home in no time flat.
We didn't stay on the regular bus route.
Well, of course I did.
Oh, no, Aunt Florida.
Remember when you told me that we were turning off
the regular bus route because of the snow?
Penny.Oops. Sorry.
Oh, we're gonna die of "lostnessness." Oh!
[CRIES]
Stop it. They'll find us soon enough.
Hey, I know what we can do to keep warm.
Let's all do a little jogging.
Say what? Jogging?
What are you, some kind of health nut?
Maybe you'd like me to warm the seat of your pants, young man.
That's what I said, Mrs. Evans. Let's jog.
All right.
Now, one, two, three.
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
And hup, two, three, four. Hup, two, three, four.
Hup, two, three... Move it!
Hup, two, three, four. Hup, two, three, four.
Hup... I said move it!
Gone with the Wind.
Right. That's it!
[LAUGHING] My charades.Okay.
My charades. Come on, brother.
Let's see what you got.[CLEARS THROAT]
[HUMS]
A... A talent show? A... A song?
[GRUNTS]Song?
It's an old song.
Um, "Old Man River"?
Um, "Old Folks at Home"?
"That Old Black Magic"?
Um, "My Old Kentucky Home"?
[GROANS]
MICHAEL: Um, okay, three words.
Um, second word.
Oh, uh... Uh, wife? Girl?
Pal? Pal.
All right, um, sounds like Thelma, right?
[GRUNTING AND CHUCKLING]
Your... Your...
Okay, "My Gal." Um, "My Gal, Al"?
[GRUNTING]MICHAEL: Um...
Wait. Might as well do the whole alphabet.
"My Gal, Al"? Bal, Cal, Dal?
"My Gal, Gal"? Yeah, right.
MICHAEL: Um...
Hey, I heard this police report on TV...
Shut up. Get out of here!
You're bothering us. Um, Hal!
I think I got it. "My Gal, Sal." Right?
Right. "My Gal, Sal."
Yo! There's this police report
on television... There's no such song, Bookman.
You keep interrupting, I'm gonna give you a knuckle sandwich.
If you want to play, play. But otherwise, play or get out.
That's right, Bookman. Yeah, out.
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
BOOKMAN: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
You. THELMA: Us?
People? People?
Um... Uh... Uh... Uh, living person?
S-s-seven words. Okay. Sounds like, uh...
KEITH: Uh, sounds like, uh, lizard!
Lizard. Longer, longer...
Uh... Uh, wizard. Wizard, no...
Gizzard? George Gizzard? Chicken George.
THELMA: Uh, you said four words?
Uh, four words. Sounds like, um...
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah... kiss! Hiss.
Kiss? Hiss? Kiss. Hiss. Uh, longer.
Uh, kissing... Hissing... Don't know what he's getting at.
KEITH: Uh, first two words.
Picture, picture.
Oh, our mama! Our mama is kissing a lizard!
I got it! I know I got it this time!
Our mama is missing in the blizzard.
Right.
[ALL CACKLE]Our mama is missing
in the blizz...
FLORIDA: Come on, kids.
You can't stop now.
Hup, two... Aunt Florida,
it's cold, and we're tired.
Yeah.
Hey.
A fire. That's what we need.
A fire. That'll give us heat and light
in case we're here after dark.
Dark?
We're gonna die of "darknessness!"
Nobody ever died of darkness.
There's always a first time.
Now, look, kids. We gonna look for matches.
And this time, Alex, if you have any matches,
don't be afraid. I won't tell your folks.
Now, look for matches, everybody.
Let's face it, Mrs. Evans.
We ain't gonna have us no fire.
We're gonna die of... of...
of "firelessness."
Say what?
Hey, I know what we'll do.
We'll have us some entertainment. Come on.
Come on. Come on. You kids are gonna teach me
how to dance the Freak.
All right. Okay?
Like my kids would say, "Let's get down."
[LAUGHS]
All right? Come on.Okay.
One, two, y'all know what to do.
♪ Come on, let's do it Let's dance ♪
♪ Dance across the floor
♪ Come on, let's do it ALL: ♪ Yeah, let's do it
♪ Let's dance Let's dance some more ♪
♪ Come on, let's do it Let's dance ♪
♪ Let's dance Across the floor ♪
♪ Come on, let's do it Let's dance ♪
You do it.♪ Let's dance across the floor
♪ Let's do it Let's dance ♪
♪ Let's dance Across the floor ♪
♪ Let's do it Let's dance ♪
♪ Let's dance Across the floor ♪
♪ Let's do it Let's dance ♪
♪ Let's dance Across the floor ♪
♪ Let's do it Let's dance ♪
♪ Let's dance Across the floor ♪
♪ Let's do it Let's dance ♪
PENNY: All right, Aunt Florida. ♪ Let's dance across the floor
♪ Let's do it Let's dance ♪
♪ Let's dance Across the floor ♪
♪ Let's do it Let's dance ♪
♪ Let's dance Across the floor ♪
♪ Let's do it Let's dance... ♪
[LAUGHS]
Whoo! Eartha Kitt, eat your heart out.
[LAUGHS]
♪ Let's do it Let's dance ♪
♪ Let's dance Across the floor ♪
♪ Let's do it, let's dance... Uh-uh. Kim.
Kim, you can't go to sleep. Come on.
Now listen. We're all gonna clap and sing so loud,
they gonna hear us on Michigan Avenue.
And if the police don't find us,
Motown Records will.
Come on, now. But, Mrs. Evans, I'm sleepy.
We can't do that, honey. Come on.
Let's all sing and dance. Now, come on.
ALL: ♪ Let's do it, let's dance
♪ Let's dance Across the floor ♪
♪ Come on, let's do it Let's dance ♪
♪ Let's dance some more
♪ Come on, let's do it
Wake up.
♪ Let's dance Across the floor... ♪
Why haven't they found Mama's bus yet?
Thelma, why don't you just do something constructive
to keep your mind off your worrying?
Yeah, Michael, I guess you're right.
KEITH: Mm-hm. I'll go make some muffins.
Baby, please don't make no muffins.
I don't want no muffins.
Wait till the blizzard is over,
the ice thaw out, and we can run away...
[GROANING] Hey.
I should have known better than try to get to work today.
Stranded three hours on the bus.
KEITH: Aw.Only got four blocks.
Willona, I know you're freezing.
Not necessarily.
Sometimes it can be the warmest place in the world
if you stand next to the right man.
Another half an hour, I might have been engaged.
WILLONA: But anyway, the bus stop...
Hey, what's a matter?
I've seen happier faces on shrunken heads.
Willona. WILLONA: Hm?
There's something we should tell you.
WILLONA: Hey, what, honey? Well, um,
why don't you have a nice cup of coffee
just to warm your system up?
Keep you warm in the wintertime. That is an ingenious idea.
I'll get you some coffee.Ingenious.
Here you go, Willona. Thank you, sweetheart.
Coffee's nice and hot.Mm-hm.
There you go. Now, what is it?
Well, um, it's like this, Willona. Um...
You tell her, Thelma.
Uh, Willona, would you like some sugar in your coffee?
Okay, sweetheart. That's a good idea.
Willona, don't you take two teaspoons?
No, no. One's enough.
Well... What is it? What is it?
Well, it's really not that bad.
[SIGHS]
What you mean, it's not that bad?
Huh, Keith?
[CHUCKLES]
Well, Willona, we know you're a cool,
calm and totally together person.
That's right.
You're not the type to get hysterical
if you hear bad news.
Okay. Now come on, somebody.
Please tell me what it is. All right. Tell me.
Well, it's just a little thing. What, honey?
Penny and Ma are lost in the blizzard!
MICHAEL: Willona,
now just stay calm, all right?
KEITH: Willona? I'm cool.
You are?
Cool, calm and collected.
KEITH: Yeah.
Willona? Willona?
Yeah? You okay, Willona?
Willona, you all right?
I want another "cof" of "cooffee."
Another... Uh, Willona?
"Cooffee"... Coffee... "Cooffee."
[INAUDIBLE]
Lord,
I'm afraid I'm gonna need a little help down here.
Nothing fancy. No frills.
Strictly economy class.
But, Lord, I want you to help me get these nice,
little kids home to their warm beds.
[LOUD THUMP][GASPS]
Now, Lord,
I know you work in strange and mysterious ways,
but I never knew you worked that fast.
[LOUD THUMP]
Who's out there?
MAN: Who's out there?
Aunt Florida, is he a heavenly messenger?
No, stupid. He's either Ernest or Julio.
The name is Donald.
And you've been disturbing my beauty rest all day.
What are you doing here?
Oh, well, I should ask you
what you are doing in my townhouse?
Our school bus got stuck in the snow.
Man, I'm freezing. Your place sure is cold.
Hm! Not when you carry your own antifreeze.
Oh, beg your pardon.
Pardon my ill-mannered self.
Have some?
We're not quite ready for that yet.
Well, I am.
[COUGHS]
You got a match?
Match?
Don't you know what the surgeon general said about smoking?
[CLEARS THROAT]
There. You see what I... [COUGHS]... mean?
Gee, that's the worst smoker's cough I've ever heard.
[COUGHING] Yeah.
And just imagine if I smoked.
Mister, we don't want a smoke.
We want to build a fire.
Ah, some matches from my favorite pump room.
Where I get may favorite chitterlings à la flambé.
It's empty.
Now, you just be patient.
I... I... I live here. I know what I'm doing.
Now, look, kids, there are only two matches here,
so let's gather up all the wood you can.
Hurry.
Hey, wait a minute. What...? What...? What y'all doing
with my palatial home here?
Wait! That... Hey, that's my bathtub.
Wait a minute. What y'all doing here?
Stop these kids here. What's wrong with y'all?
Is that all the wood you can find?
That's it. The whole enchilada.
My Lord.
There's a bunch of old junk in the room next door.
No, no, no! Not my winter furnishings, please!
Well, it's either that or us. Go get it, kids.
Now, wait a minute. Y'all... Y'all...
What's wrong with them fools, huh? They crazy?
Aw, there goes my breakfast nook.
And my bedroom suite.
Hey, that has a lot of value to me.
My dear, old daddy slept in that bed.
Are you crazy?
I hope these still strike.
Oh, give me that match.
I'm gonna light the first one.
After all, I insist.
This is my memories that's going up in smoke.
[MOANING]
Oh! Give me that last match.
What's wrong with you?
Yeah.
[ALL APPLAUD]Yay!
Now we can get warm.
Yeah, so can I.
Did you hear what they called Ma?
"The most courageous school bus driver in Chicago."
All right. Honey, I had no doubt in my mind
they'd be saved. That's why you were catatonic.
WILLONA: I was not catatonic.
Can we join the party?
ALL: Ma! Hey!
We were so worried about you!
Baby! Oh...
Take off your gloves. How was you?
Aunt Florida saved our lives.
She built a fire and even made us do the Freak.
The Freak? Yeah.
Come on, Aunt Florida. Let's show them.
Oh, come on, Penny. Come on.
Show them what you can do, child.
ALL: ♪ Let's dance, let's dance
♪ Come on Let's do it ♪
♪ Let's dance Let's dance some more... ♪
♪ ...All looks hand-me-down
♪ Good times ♪ Hey, yeah
♪ Good times
♪ Keepin' your head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs
♪ Good times
♪ Easy credit Rip-offs ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Ain't we lucky We got 'em ♪
ANNOUNCER: Good Times was videotaped before a studio audience.