♪ Good times
♪ Any time You meet a payment ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Any time You need a friend ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Any time You're out from under ♪
♪ Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled ♪
♪ Keepin' your head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs
♪ Good times
♪ Easy credit Rip-offs ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Scratchin' And survivin' ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Hangin' In a chow line ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Ain't we lucky We got 'em ♪
♪ Good times
[BOTH SNORING]
[DOOR CLOSES]
J.J.? Michael? It's time to get up.
Oh, no. Will you look at the time?
I gotta cram for an exam today.
[YAWNS]
Uh-uh, brother. Thelma's in the bathroom, and I'm second.
I got a job interview today.Okay.
Hey, J.J. I go in before you, man. I gotta get to class today.
You mean, I gotta use the bathroom
in the gas station again?
Come on, everybody. To the table.
Food's ready.
Thank the Lord for instant oatmeal.
Thelma!
Good morning, baby. Hi, babe.
[WHISTLING]
Hey!
J.J., how far to the gas station?
Two miles down on the left.Uh-huh.
Good morning, Ma.Good morning.
Good morning, J.J.Hey, Thelma,
you gotta stop using that bathroom as a Girl Scout camp.
Well, I had to put on my face.
Huh. You should try putting it on again.
'Cause you got it on upside down.
Sit down in that chair and stop botherin' me.
You're the one that has
your ugly, old face. My face is not...
Is this bickering ever gonna end?
That's all. Get out of there.
Woo.
Can't we have one single breakfast
without everybody snapping at each other?
Thelma. I'm sorry, Mommy.
Yeah, you should be sorry,
'cause you know you ruining my appetite, girl.
Oh, my goodness.
I can't believe it. He eats like a horse,
but he has a body like an eel.
Here we go again.
Enough's enough!
What's happening to us?
I think we're suffering from claustrophobia.
Well, maybe, but we just should be glad
we've got a roof over our heads.
Right.
[CLATTERING][SCREAMS]
The roof over our heads
is quickly becoming the roof on our heads.
KEITH: Mm-hm.
Bookman is supposed to come up here and take care of that.
But let's face facts. We need a bigger place.
Yeah. We could always sleep
in Bookman's pajamas.
Or in J.J.'s head.
That's always vacant.
Oh, for the peace and quiet
of screaming kids on my bus.
You know, it's getting so cramped up in here
that I gotta pick a number in order to breathe.
I can't study. I can't sleep.
I never have any privacy. And I got college to worry about too.
Well, the truth of the matter is,
this apartment is not made of elastic.
I can't stretch it to make it bigger.
Well, Mama, if we can't make it bigger,
then maybe we should make the amount of people smaller.
Hey, we'll get out of here as soon as we can afford to.
I don't like this any more than you do.
Especially since I'm beginning to feel like a freeloader.
Oh, now, Keith, don't you start thinking that way.
You're up every morning looking for a job.
See that, Michael? You made Keith feel bad.
[SCOFFS]
You shouldn't be making him feel like a freeloader.
You should say I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Don't tell me you're sorry. Tell the freeloader.
J.J.!
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Now, look. That may be Bookman.
Don't start teasing him.
At least, not until he does something about the ceiling.
Come in.[KNOCKING]
KEITH: Hey, Bookman.
How you doing? How you doing, Bookman?
Three cheers for our super.
Hippo, hippo, hurrah.
Huh? Wh... What was that? Uh, nothing.
Mr. Bookman, I asked you up here to see
if you wouldn't do something about this falling plaster.
I don't see no plaster falling.
Oh, yeah? Watch this.
Hey, J.J., that's a good trick, man.
If brains were dynamite,
that man still couldn't blow his nose.
What? What'd he say? He said,
"With the rains, it may blow holes
in the place."[LAUGHING]
So you had better hurry and do something
about all this plaster that's falling on the floor.
Hey, no sweat. That's what I get paid for.
Take care of that right away.
"Order one broom, and charge it to the Evans family."
You see, it's getting so crowded here,
we just need a bigger place.
And I just thought that if there was
a bigger apartment available,
you'd know about it, wouldn't you?
Yeah, I'd be the first to know. As a matter of fact,
Martins on the third floor are moving out this month.
It's a three-bedroom. That sounds perfect.
How much more is the rent? About $10.
Ten dollars? That's reasonable.
You think we have a chance of getting it?
No! Not unless I put you on my waiting list.
And I ain't gonna put you on the list,
until you apologize for those insults yesterday.
Which insults? Uh, I mean, what insults?
Mrs. Evans, Michael called me "the Incredible Bulk."
Oh.
No. He didn't say that.
What he said was,
it's incredible how much bulk you've lost.
MICHAEL: That's what I said.J.J.: Oh, yeah. Definitely.
Without a doubt, you lost more weight than Don Knotts.
You could wear some of my clothes now, Bookman.
Well, I guess...
I guess I did lose a little weight.
Okay, there you go.
Now I got you down on my waiting list.
You guys are number 572.
What? 572? Oh!
Woo-ooh! Is Flo back yet?
No, no, no. She'll be back in a minute.
Oh, darn it. What's the matter,
you got a little bit of gossip burning a hole in your tongue?
Gossip? Me? Gossip?
Keith, I'll have you know that I'm one of the most
anti-gossiping people in this project.
That is why I dedicated my entire life
to getting the story straight before
anybody else heard about it. I hate gossip.
Willona, if it's that important,
you know you can tell us.
Honey, listen. You know Moose-face Mary?
Yeah. The girl that walks like
she's caught up in the wind? Yeah.
Even when there ain't no wind blowing?
Uh-huh. Well, here's the word.
She is going to be a mother.
Hey, that's fantastic. All right.
Wait a minute. Ain't she the one
that's got a husband in the service?
Been stationed in Germany for the last year and a half?
What's she gonna tell him?
It's a test tube baby that she's carrying for a friend.
[CHATTER]
Woo! Flo, wait till you hear what I got to tell you.
Willona, can't it wait? I had a rough day.
Oh, girl, give me your coat. Thank you.
Is Michael home yet?
No, Ma. He's almost an hour late.
I'm worried about that boy.
He told me he'd study in the park if he had to,
rather than put up with the distractions around here.
Hi, everybody. How was your day?
It was just fine, Michael. How was yours?
Fine. Fine.
Just fine.
How fine is just fine?
Fine.
His needle seems to be stuck.
I'm moving out. You're what?
I'm moving into an apartment.
It's right near campus. It's the perfect place to study.
It's small, and most of all, it's private.
No. No, you're not.
You're not old enough to move out on your own.
Mama, I'm 17 years old. That's too young.
You're always telling me I'm old enough
to make my own decisions.
You pick a fine time
to listen to everything I say.
Michael, how do you expect to pay for this place?
I have a roommate, and we're gonna share the expenses.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, I'm glad you got a place of your own now.
A place where I can come boogie down with my chicks.
[LAUGHING]
Gramps, how'd you find the apartment?
I read on the bulletin board a notice
that was advertising for a roommate.
Good. You might find a nice roomma...
Hey, wait a minute. Nothing is settled.
I'm still against it.
You are too young to be moving out on your own,
especially with somebody I don't know.
Mama, I'm moving out. I have to.
I mean, I can't take it here no more.
[KNOCKING]Too many people in here for me.
Ah, well, hey, you know. Huh.
Hi. Is this the Evans' apartment?
Yes, it am. Come right in.
Hi, Michael. You forgot these folders,
so I thought I'd drop 'em by.
Hey, thanks, Cindy. That was very brave of you.
Hey, I'll show you to the elevator.
Michael? Aren't you going to introduce us?
Oh. Excuse my rudeness.
Folks, this is Cindy Crebbins.
My new roommate.
Cindy, I'd like you to meet my family.
My sister Thelma. Her husband Keith.
Yo.MICHAEL: Our very good friend.
Willona Woods. How are you?
My brother J.J.Charmed.
And this is my mama.
My mother, Mrs. Florida Evans.
But... But...
Excuse me, y'all. I need some water.
Uh, Cindy, I... I bet you were surprised
when Michael answered your ad, huh?
Yes. I thought it would take much longer
before I got any feelers.
Approaches.
Calls.
Well, about the apartment. How many, uh,
bedrooms do you have?
One.One.
And, er, uh, how many beds
in this, uh, apartment? One.
Excuse me, y'all. I gotta have some more water.
Flo, don't worry about it.
They're just innocent kids. Don't worry about it.
Hey, look, everybody. I will be sleeping on the couch
in the living room. It's perfect.
The apartment is walking distance from campus.
We can do homework together. We have some of the same courses.
Yeah. Uh, let me guess.
Biology.
Cool it, J.J., all right?
Cindy and I, we can help each other out.
She's also an A student.
I bet you she knows her P's and Q's too.
Well, uh, I'd better be going.
It was very nice meeting you all.
I'll show you to the door.
I think I hear Penny calling me, honey.
I got to go. Ooh. She forgot her book, Flo.
Oh, nice little title.
"Contemporary Attitudes Toward Sexual Behavior."
Uh, Ma, you sure you wouldn't like another glass of wa-wa?
No!
Wait, wait. Look, everybody, now.
We are reading that book for a research project in sociology.
The whole class is doin' it.
Readin' the book, that is.
Listen now. This is just a business arrangement.
Cindy and I are not romantically involved. We are just friends.
ALL: Mm-hm.
Michael. Yeah?
You and me gonna have a little talk.
All right then. Talk.
Can't you all find something to do?
Oh. Yeah, Mom. Oh, yes.
Mama, I know what you're gonna say...
That's funny. I don't.
Well, you're gonna say that you're not old-fashioned,
and that you've got nothing against the new morality.
Wrong. Because I am old-fashioned.
And as for this "new morality"...
It may be new, but there is nothing moral about it,
and nobody is gonna sell me on that,
including my still-wet-behind-the-ears son.
Mama, are you sure that it's not prejudice
that's giving you the trouble?
The only prejudice I have is a boy and girl
living together when they're not married.
And I don't care whether they are yellow,
green, blue or brown.
Mama, I already told you.
Mama, we are not involved.[PHONE RINGS]
I have said... I can't stay here anymore.
I gotta get out of here.
Y'all just keep on, right on arguing.
It's fine with me.
I'll handle this. Ha, ha, ha.
Chello?
Yeah, this is the Evans household.
[ARGUING]
Oh, tone it down, y'all. It's Cindy's parents.
Yeah. This is J.J.
Yeah, J.J. the Cool.
Yeah, brother of Michael the Hot.
Yeah. They say they want to come over here tonight.
Yeah, come on over.
About 8 or 9? Yeah, that's fine with us.
All right. See you there
or be square. Later.
Well, Ma and Pa Crebbins are coming over.
The whole clan.
I mean, the whole family.
[CHUCKLES]
Now, Mama... Mama, I know what you're gonna say.
I mean, you can just lay it on me,
but no matter what you say, it's not gonna change my mind.
This is my decision.
Michael, I don't think I have to say anything.
I think the Crebbins will say it all.
Mm-hm.
Ma, how can you be so calm?
Who knows what the Crebbins are gonna say?
Or gonna do.
I'll tell you what they're gonna do.
They're gonna show your kid brother
that life is a lot trickier than he ever imagined.
Where you going, J.J.?
Oh, I'm sorry to leave the combat zone, Ma...
but I got myself a date
with Olivia the Octopus.
I got a few of my own entanglements
planned for the evening.
[CHUCKLES]
Uh! Oh, uh, I was just leaving.
I just came over to visit their eldest son, J.J.,
but he wasn't in town.
Ah, come right in.
Make yourselves feel right at t'home.
Oh, yes.
I'm Florida Evans.
Which one is Michael? I am.
Before we get into this Michael-Cindy business,
I'd like to say th... We think it's just
absolutely terrific.
Say what?
Right on, mama.
Tell it like it T-I-Z.
Say, Michael, it is really great to meet you.
Looks like you're gonna be practically
part of the family, huh?
Right on, man.
Well. This is my sister Thelma and her husband Keith.
Hello. Hey, hey, Keith.
Thelma? Little Thelma, huh?
Why don't we just wave from a distance?
Won't you sit down?
Well, I hope you'll excuse us for being so nervous
when we first walked in, but this is our first time
in a real ghetto.
Cindy didn't tell us that Michael lived in the ghetto.
Do you know, we thought we saw
a real street gang out front?
Man, that was something.
Oh, they were just juving.
Jiving, dear.
Please, uh, let me understand this.
You have no concern
about, uh, Michael and Cindy living together?
Why? We've always tried
to raise Cindy to be liberal and open, just like we are.
I've always believed in T.C.R.
Dear, that's T.C.B.
"Taking care of business." You know that one?
Oh, yes. Lot of my friends are white.
Right on, mama.
We think it's cool, Cindy and Michael living together.
But they're not married. Married?
Hey, wait a minute now. Y'all are way off the track.
We're talking about education here.
Look. Let me understand this.
You're not concerned about
your 17-year-old daughter
living with my son?
Of course not.
And we don't even mind that he's black.
We've taught ourselves to be colorblind.
Must get a mess of traffic tickets.
Let me get this straight.
You're not concerned with your daughter
living with a black man.
You're not worried about her living with any man.
Is there anything that does bother you?
Well, quite frankly, we were worried about her living alone.
But now with Michael there with her, I'll be so relieved.
I mean, if an intruder comes in,
Michael will know how to handle him.
Right on.
See, we white, middle-class live such...
such sheltered lives,
but this great experience living down here in the ghetto
really prepares you for handling intruders.
We just run from 'em.
Actually, we call the police.
And when the trouble is over,
they usually come.
Well, we know she'll be safe
in the hands of Michael.
Fulani, right? I beg your pardon?
Your roots, your tribe.
I'll bet you're a Fulani.
That was a great warrior class.
See, you can tell by the bone structure.
See how the forehead slopes?
And... And over here,
how the nostrils flare?
Oh, I wonder how many lions your ancestors killed, huh?
You have traced your roots, haven't you?
Oh, yes, but right now we're more concerned
about where we're going than where we came from.
[CHUCKLES]
You black people have such
a marvelous sense of humor.
Yeah, you really do have great humor.
Can I get you anything to eat?
Oh, yes, yes. We just love soul food.
Well, I was thinking more of a cheese dip.
Michael, will you get it, please?
[IMITATING MR. CREBBINS] Right on, mama. Yeah.
I'll go with you. Yeah, you come on.
You know, I read Roots three times.
I canceled all my business appointments,
and stayed home to watch it on TV every night.
I felt it was the least I could do.
Yes, and I'd like to take this opportunity
to apologize for what we did
to Kunta Kinte.
Oh, that's cool, mama, that's cool.
'Cause you see, he makin' more money
than all of us now.
Hey, wait a minute.
Keith, Keith...
Keith Anderson the football player, right?
I knew I recognized you.
Hey, baby, lay five over me.
This is all the way live.
Right on, brother.
Actually, I did play football,
but I spent my summers at Oxford,
and I find it rather banal,
all this excessive use of the idiomatic jargon.
I feel we blacks have progressed far beyond
the primitive use of semantics.
However, if I may regress...
Keith.
Here you go.
Thank you, Michael. Anyone for dip?
Oh, I'm sorry, but we don't have time.
Sweet Mama and I are due at our group encounter meeting.
We're christening the new communal hot tub.
Cindy, we'll drop you at the college.
Uh, Dad, Mom, could you wait for me downstairs?
I'd like to talk to Michael for a minute.
Oh, of course, dear.
Michael, we'll be seeing
a lot of you from now on.
Big Daddy and I will be dropping in
on you and Cindy quite often.
Oh, a-and I want to thank you for your hospitality.
I've admired every minute of it.
Goodbye.
Uh, later.
Or is it "earlier"?
Michael, you don't look very happy.
I'm not. You know, Cindy, um...
I don't think I could take your parents
coming over to the apartment all the time.
Oh? I'm sorry.
I don't think it'll work. I'm better off staying here.
But they seemed to like you. They didn't like me.
They just like the fact that I'm black.
Well, at times they can be pretty hard to take.
Yeah.
Michael, we'll still see each other around.
Hey, no problem on that. We can study in the library.
Yeah. Well, it was nice seeing you both,
and thank you, Mrs. Evans, for...
Oh, there's no need to thank me.
You're a lovely girl, Cindy.
Well, bye.
Bye-bye. See you at school.
Yeah.
Well, Michael, it was your decision.
I'm proud of you, son.
Give me five. You got it, mama.
[♪♪♪]
♪ Keepin' your head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs
♪ Good times
♪ Easy credit Rip-offs ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Ain't we lucky we got 'em
♪ Good times
ANNOUNCER: Good Times is videotaped before a studio audience.