♪ Good times
♪ Any time You meet a payment ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Any time You need a friend ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Any time You're out from under ♪
♪ Not gettin' hassled Not gettin' hustled ♪
♪ Keepin' your head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs
♪ Good times
♪ Easy credit Rip-offs ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Scratchin' And survivin' ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Hangin' In a chow line ♪
♪ Good times
♪ Ain't we lucky We got 'em ♪
♪ Good times
Oh, Lord, I could just stay here forever
looking at my beautiful children.
Well, Ma, you better look fast,
because J.J.'s gonna be here soon.
[LAUGHS]
My J.J.'s beautiful too.
All of my children are.
Oh, there's a book on my bag.
Carl and I got it for you.
"Quotations of Great Black Leaders."
Hey, thanks, Ma.
Flo, the only quotations Gramps has been using lately is,
"Oh, come on, baby. What are lips for?"
[CHUCKLES]
Michael? Uh, yeah, Ma?
You wrote me that you were spending all your time studying.
Hey!
Ma must have missed the plane.
I waited for over an hour and a half for her at Gate number 12.
Fool! I said Gate number 21. What you doing at 12?
Oh, golly!
I'd better get back down there. Goodbye, Willona.
Goodbye, Thelma. Goodbye, Ma. Goodbye, Michael.
Ma!
[LAUGHS]
Ma, it's good to see you again.
Oh, it's good to see you, J.J.
Hug me again, Ma.
Well, now, I don't know if there's enough of you
to go around a second time.
Oh, come on, Ma. [LAUGHS]
Oh... How'd you miss me at the airport?
I was running around looking for you.
I saw somebody dressed like you.
But then I thought they had cloned a peacock.
Ma, these are my quiet,
going-to-the-airport- to-meet-Ma clothes.
You should see my funky.
Saturday-night-disco- get-down-and-boogie clothes,
with my high-rise boogie shoes.
[IMITATING J.J.] High-rise boogie shoes.
[LAUGHS] J.J.: Yeah, Ma.
In order to get down, you've got to get up.
He's a revolting Travolta.
Mm-hm. Instead of Grease, he looks like crankcase oil.
Uh, Thelma, stay out of this, coconut head.
This is my wedding, Jawsnumber two,
and you don't like it...
Aw, don't tell me that.
Instead of marrying you off, we'll auction you off.
[ALL ARGUING INDISTINCTLY]
You so dumb.
I told you 21. I wrote it down...
Welcome home, Flo!
[LAUGHS]
All right, children. I want you to stop the hassling right now!
Huh![KNOCK AT DOOR]
[LAUGHING] I'll get it.
Oh, Booger.
Hey, welcome back, Miss Evans.
Oh, Bookman. It's good to see you again.
[GIGGLES]
Ma, look at him blushing.
Uh, yeah. I bet he hasn't felt this good
since Burger King made him an honorary Whopper.
[LAUGHS]
Hey, Bookman, what you got there?
Oh, the missus baked a little welcome-home present.
It's a cake.
Half a cake, Bookman?
"Home"?
Oh, I ate the "Welcome."
Don't blame Bookman, Ma.
He went in for a stomach bypass,
but instead they put in a freeway.
I got this, Ma.
Thank you, Bookman.
And thank Mrs. Bookman for the cake.
I'll thank you if you don't tell her
what happened to the "Welcome."You know I'm gonna tell her.
Greedy. Greedy.
Oh, Flo, Penny'll be home in a couple of hours.
Honey, she's so beautiful. I can't wait for you to meet her.
Oh, I'm anxious to meet her too.
But, you know, the one I'm really anxious to meet
is the groom, and of course, his parents.
Mm-hm. Oh, Ma,
his parents died when he was very young.
Oh, Thelma, I'm so sorry.
Well, Ma, I'm having a late lunch with him and everything.
So I'll invite him over after the lunch,
and then you'll have time to rest for a while, okay?
I could use a little rest.
Thelma, I'm so sorry I wasn't able to be here
to help you with your wedding plans.
Oh, that's okay, Mom.
As resident man of the house, I've taken care of everything.
It's always been my motto:
"You don't get rid of a sister every day.
But when you get rid of one like this, you have got to pay."
Now, J.J., you don't mean that.
No, Ma. I wish old Thelma here the best of everything.
Oh. You know, your father would have said the same thing.
Oh, J.J., you're so sweet.
Well, you know, what can I say?
You know, Ma, he wouldn't let me chip in
for the wedding dress.
And he picked out the most expensive one there is.
Honey, you should see the guest list.
He invited everybody,
from who's who to who dat?
[ALL LAUGH]
I got everything covered except for the champagne.
I'm not sure how many six-packs we're gonna need.
J.J.,
maybe we should go over all the wedding arrangements.
No, Ma. Now, I know you think I ordered the champagne
and forget the caviar.
Caviar?
Rich folks' grits.
[LAUGHS]
J.J., I think caviar is a little out of line.
Too late, Ma. The sturgeon's already pregnant.
Well, Ma, I got to be going back down to the office.
Got that big Webster presentation to make.
Think I'm in line for a real big bonus.
I'm proud of you, son.
[LAUGHS]
Thanks, Ma.
I'll put your bags up, Ma.
Thank you, honey. Oh, Flo, honey,
I know you gotta be tired, so I'm gonna go on home, okay?
Okay. Talk to you later.
But, girl, remind me to tell you about Hazel Washington.
Why? What? You know the chick
we all thought was fooling around
with the butcher at the supermarket?
Yeah. Ha-ha! Well, honey,
I do not want to gossip, you know what I mean?
But Hazel has got to take a ticket and a number
like everybody else.
That's right. The butcher is no longer
featuring Hazel's ham hocks.
He now has a special on Hattie Mae's tenderloins.
[BOTH LAUGH]
I'll see you later, child.
Okay, love.
Oh...
Ma, can I talk to you for a minute?
Sure, honey. What is it?
Oh, Ma, I'm so glad you're home.
Oh, precious.
Ma, I'm so scared.
I'm really scared.
Why, honey? [SIGHS]
Because Keith is a great football player, Ma,
and he's gonna be making as much money
as the president of the United States.
I hope he doesn't fumble as much.
[SNICKERS]
Well, it's not that.
It's just that I can't believe he picked me...
You know, a kid from the projects.
I can't cook. I can't sew. I get carsick.
He could've had any woman he wanted, and he picked me, Ma.
Thelma. Oh, I wish you could see yourself.
You're a beautiful woman. Very beautiful.
You've been brought up to have pride and self-respect.
No drugs, no bitterness,
and just enough sense to know
that if you can survive here,
you can make it anywhere.
Oh, sure, Keith could've married any girl he wanted to,
but he picked you.
Now, you know what that makes him?
A very lucky groom.
Oh, Ma, I love you.
But I'm still scared.Oh...
Yeah.
He's outside.
But, Mr. Wilson, it wasn't J.J.'s fault
that Thompson didn't buy the presentation.
He did a bang-up job.
J.J.'s a talented kid and a hard worker.
All right, we gotta economize, but why him?
Last hired, first fired.
I'll take care of it.
Send J.J. in.
Hey there, Mr. Patterson. Don't bother to stand up.
I'll sit down.
[LAUGHS]
How about a little Juicy Fruit?
Thank you, J.J.
I was just talking about you to Mr. Wilson.
Well, I hope you were merciless in your praise.
Well, I'd better come right to the point.
Well, let's do that. How much, and how soon?
Right now.
I don't find this easy to say,
but we're gonna have to let you go.
Let me go?
For somebody who didn't find it easy to say,
you sure said it pretty good.
[SIGHS]
I'll tell Sweet Daddy you paid.
Yeah, thanks.
Hey, bro, what happened to your arm?
I missed a payment.
Uh, I see they compound the interest
and the fractures at the same time around here.
Later. Yeah, way later.
Hm!
Well, uh, I'm here to see Sweet Daddy
about a loan, sweet mama.
Park it, sucker.
He's not here yet.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hey, hey, J.J.
J.J., my main man. What's happening, baby?
Sweet Daddy. S.D.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Uh, Bruno?
Ah.
Uh, yeah, Sweet Daddy,
those are nice guppies you got there.
Guppies? Man, Sweet Daddy don't have no guppies.
Those are piranhas, man. Ooh!
Hey, J.J., you wanna pet one?
No, no. You know, on second thought,
you'd better not, brother. They just love to eat away
at a long, skinny eel.
[LAUGHS]
Come on, brother. Into my office.
All right, then.
Cop a squat, man.
So, um, tell me, what brings you to Sweet Daddy's Bank of C&P?
"C&P"?
That's right, brother. Cash and Pain.
Uh, well, Sweet Daddy,
uh, my sister's getting married.
Well, brother, congratulations, man. I heard.
And guess what I also heard. I heard it's gonna be
the biggest social event of the season.
Definitely, definitely.
Yeah, well, come here, sucker.
Now, tell me something. Why wasn't Sweet Daddy invited?
Why didn't I get an invitation, man?
You neglected to invite the godfather of the ghetto.
Uh, yeah, Sweet Daddy.
I don't think Thelma had you on her invitation list.
Oh, what you talking about? What's wrong with your sister?
Don't she know about the charity work I do for this community?
Sweet Daddy Williams is one of the largest donators
to the local hospital.
Besides giving them money,
I'm their major supplier of patients.
Uh, well, Sweet Daddy,
I... I'll see what I can do about the invitation.
[LAUGHS] "Do"? That's funny.
You gonna see what you can do?
[LAUGHING]
Man, you're funny.
You gonna see what you can do, huh?
[CACKLING]
Come here, boy.
When Sweet Daddy asks you for a favor, you don't say,
"Well, Sweet Daddy, I... I can see what I can do."
Uh-uh. You say, "Well, Sweet Daddy,
I'll see what I can done." Dig?
Because Sweet Daddy conjugates the verb "to do" thusly:
do, done, dead.
So do it, dude.
Uh, sure, Sweet Daddy. I'll dood...
I mean, uh, I did... dee... do... Uh...
Sweet Daddy, about the loan?
Oh, yeah, brother. How...? How much you need?
Uh, how about a grand?
A grand?
[LAUGHS] Oh, man,
let me look in my chump-change purse.
Here. Here you go. A grand.
Oh, wow. Uh, the usual rate, Sweet Daddy?
Uh, 6 for 5 a week?
Man, what's wrong with you?
Ain't you been reading the paper?
I mean, haven't you heard what Jimmy the Peanut
says about inflation?
The price of diamonds, brother, have gone up so much,
my little pinky here is about to go naked,
poor thing.
No, brother, it is now 8 for 5,
and Sweet Daddy has reduced the week to six days.
Uh, Sweet Daddy, uh, that's a little steep.
I'll be paying you back for the rest of my life.
If you don't, brother, it's gonna be a short-term loan.
You know, there's so much to talk about
when young people get married,
you hardly know where to start.
Right, honey?
I mean, there's just oodles of things to talk about,
like, uh, where you gonna live?
Michigan Drive.
Michigan Drive?
Yeah, I meant to keep it as a surprise.
I leased an apartment that'll be great. It overlooks the lake.
Keith, why didn't you take me to go check out the apartment?
After all, I am gonna be living with you.
Baby, I just looked at it and I knew you'd love it.
It's the penthouse.
Oh. The penthouse.
You can look down on the whole south side.
Uh, well, see, I'm part of the south side,
so I don't want to be looking down on it.
Thelma, I don't think Keith meant it that way.
What way did he mean it, Ma?
Well, any way you'd like him to mean it.
Uh, Keith, can I get you a cup of coffee?
Sounds great.
How would you like it?
Black, full-bodied and satisfying,
just like Thelma.
Don't be talking like that in front of my mother.
It's all right, Thelma. It was just a joke.
Uh, Keith, look, your jokes are starting to get on my nerves.
Hey, baby, if the apartment upset you, I'm sorry.
I'm not upset!
Then why are you shouting?
Because I'm upset.
Can't you talk this over quietly with Keith?
Yes. But can't Keith talk anything over with me?
He didn't even discuss the neighborhood.
What's to worry about? It's great to raise kids.
Kids? You didn't tell me anything about kids.
I was the one who mentioned kids.
KEITH: Right.
I talked to your mother about the kids.
My mother? You talked to my mother about kids?
Thelma, calm down. Ma, will you...?
Oh, Mommy, will you stay out of this?
This is my life. I'm a grown woman.
I can handle my own affairs!
Man, this is nowhere. I could carry on a better conversation
with those empty-headed chicks.
Oh, right.
You're right about that.
You are an expert on empty-headed chicks.
All she wanted was for me to give her my autograph.
Oh, really? That's not all she wanted you to give her.
Can't we talk about the wedding?
I never tried to hide anything from you. I've been around.
Oh, so now you're admitting it!
Well, what'd you think I was, a virgin?
All right!
Now both of you just cool down.
I never asked you if you were a virgin.
None of your business.
Well, are you?
All right, Keith. Now you've gone too far.
Stay out of this, Ma!
I'm sorry, Mrs. Evans.
Come on, Thelma, honey, baby, sweetheart.
When you're on the road in a lonely hotel room,
how much gin rummy can you play?
So you had to try strip poker, huh?
Strip poker? FLORIDA: All right!
Now, this has gone far enough.
Both of you just simmer down before I heat up!
Listen to your mother. She got more sense than you have.
Keith! Oh, now I'm stupid!
I didn't say that. I guess I was stupid
to think we were gonna have a wedding.
Baby, we are gonna have a wedding.
Not unless you're gonna marry yourself.
What do you mean?
It's off.
Now you get out.
Thelma, baby, you don't mean that.
I... I mean that.
FLORIDA: Thelma... Okay, you mean it!
You're damn right I mean it!
Well, if that's the way you feel about it, goodbye!
Keith, please, sit down a moment.
No, she broke it off, Mrs. Evans. I'm leaving.
Keith!
Sit here a minute, please.
Gee.
And, Keith?
Keith?
Don't stop calling me Mom.
[SNIFFLES]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACH]
That's right, baby. Get it all cried out.
Everything's gonna be all right.
No, it's not, Ma.
There's not gonna be a wedding. It's off.
[LAUGHS] You know,
I said the same thing to your daddy
before we got married.
You did? Sure.
You think you and Keith had a big fight?
Compared to me and James,
y'all didn't even work up a sweat.
[CHUCKLES]
What were you fighting about?
Who remembers?
I think I said something like, "It looks like snow,"
and James said, "It looks like rain."
And the fight was on.
Ma, that's silly.
Sure, it is,
and right in front of the church on our wedding day.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Ma, what happened?
Well, we had been arguing all the way to the church.
So when we got there, James was so mad
that he hopped out and wouldn't open my door.
Hm! So I got mad and started to drive off.
But, Ma, you still got married.
I couldn't drive.
[BOTH LAUGH]
I must have stepped on the reverse pedal,
because there I was, the first bride to back down the aisle
in a '48 Chevy. Ha, oh, Ma!
It's true.
When the band saw me coming,
they stopped playing "Here Comes the Bride"
and broke out with, "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot."
[BOTH LAUGH]
Oh, Mama, you're too much.
It ended up with James on one fender
and the preacher on the other.
And when he said, "Do you promise to love,
honor and obey?" And I said, "Yes."
James said, "Well, then stop the damn car!"
[BOTH LAUGH]
Ma, you know, Keith sounds a lot like Daddy.
Then why don't you go out there and tell him that?
Ma, he's out there?
Oh, Mommy.
Come on. Come on.
Ma? Hm?
Wait a minute now.
That story you told me, was that true?
Of course not. Your daddy ain't had no '48 Chevy.
He had a '35 Dodge.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Now, come on.
Lord,
I've always known you was color-blind.
But what I told Thelma just now,
I hope you'll mark that down
as one of those little white lies.
[♪♪♪]
♪ Keepin' your head Above water ♪
♪ Makin' a wave When you can ♪
♪ Temporary layoffs
♪ Good times
♪ Easy credit Rip-offs ♪
♪ Good times
ANNOUNCER: Good Times is videotaped before a studio audience.